The Magnitude of Mother's Day

As Mother's Day approached this year, I thought a lot about gifts I would be giving to my mother's as well as what I wanted from Erik. The more I pondered about the subject, the importance of Mother's Day grew tremendously. At first, it seemed like another slightly insignificant holiday but then I realized that it meant more to me than my birthday, and came a very close second to Christmas. Why? I did nothing to "deserve" my birthday, so what was so celebratory about that? Mother's Day, on the other hand, is so much more.

As ideas came into my mind that I could share with Erik to make gift-giving easier on him, the caliber I had set for the day became quite high. To me, Mother's Day encompasses everything I am. A mother is what I "do". It is my proudest accomplishment, my biggest trial, and what will grant me a stamp of 'success' or 'failure' at the end of the day. Yes, there are times where being a mother is mundane and unfulfilling, but the remaining 99% of the time, I am working my bum off to provide this world with the best little girl I can possibly mold. There are so many things I'd like her to achieve and my dreams for Claire are more ambitious than what I have ever dreamt for myself. So in essence, the gifts and accolades that surround Mother's Day should reflect every drop of sweat I have pored out to shape this wonderful being. Right? Boy, would that be the most amazing gift ever!

I thought about this subject so much that I started to feel a little disheartened about my own accomplishments and how it reflects on my Mother. I know she must have felt the same way about me. She probably had amazing dreams of what I would do with my life and who I would become. Did I let her down? I never became a concert pianist, an expert seamstress, or whatever it was that she aspired for me. As I reflect back on my childhood and think about all of the moments I griped about practicing the piano or working hard on my school assignments, I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could have made myself more dedicated and given myself the insight to know how hard my mother was working. She was simply trying to push me so that I would have every opportunity in the world and be the best me that I could be. Mom, I know I let you down at times and I guess all I can do now is try and make it up with my children. I hope I make you proud.

Who knows, maybe Claire will be a bilingual computer genius who plays first violin in the world's most prestigious philharmonic orchestra all while being a mother to her beautiful children, taking photos for National Geographic, and coming in first place at the Boston Marathon. HA!

So, did Erik provide me with a Mother's Day as marvelous as I deserved? Of course! There was still a little crying and temper tantrums thrown throughout the day, but I really felt the love, gratitude, and admiration in Erik's, Claire's, and even little Khloe's hearts. Plus Heavenly Father also gave me a little pat on the back towards the end the day. He really did, I promise! :)

Erik, thank you for all of your love and support. You are helping me become the best mother I can be to our baby girl and I couldn't do it without you by my side.

Mom, thank you for spending your entire life molding me into what I am today. Some dreams may not have come true, but you have given me the greatest gift one could give; the desire to be the BEST mother possible.

Claire, I hope that someday you realize how hard I've worked at being your mother. At times I may fail, but I only have the best intentions. You are my most prized possession and I will spend the rest of my life helping your dreams come true. I love you!

Colored by Claire - May 13, 2012

"As I Watch You Grow" 

poem by Kay Theese

         

Do you know how much you mean to me as you grow into what you will be? You came from within, from just beneath my heart, it's there you'll always be though your own life will now start. You're growing so fast it sends me awhirl, with misty eyes I ask, where's my little girl? I know sometimes to you I seem harsh and so unfair, but one day you will see, I taught you well because I care. The next few years will so quickly fly, with laughter and joy, mixed with a few tears to cry. As you begin your growth to womanhood, this fact you must know, you'll always be my source of pride, no matter where you go. You must stand up tall and proud, within you feel no fear, for all your dreams and goals, sit before you very near. With god's love in your heart and the world by its tail, you'll always be my winner, and victory will prevail. For you this poem was written, with help from above, to tell you in a rhythm of your Mother's heartfelt Love!

               Me and my girls on Mother's Day - 2011                Me and my girls on Mother's Day - 2012

Note: Claire's beautiful dress was hand-crafted by my Mother for me

when I was a little girl. It was a dream come true to have my baby girl where it as well.